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Forty Days of Dating: A Relationship Experiment

by Sheron Long on August 1, 2013

Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman gain perspective in a relationship experiment.

Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman face up to issues in a relationship experiment.
© Osvaldo Ponton

Come Face-to-Face and Gain Perspective

Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman had a creative idea. Date for 40 days (long enough to break bad habits) and work on issues that had gotten in the way of prior relationships.

Friends for four years, Jessica and Tim are designers in NYC, people who take creative risks and enjoy collaborative projects. They have a lot in common, but—

Jessica loves the thrill of healthy, romantic relationships, falls into them perhaps too quickly, and is looking for “the one.”

Tim loves the thrill of the chase (often dating several girls at once), has trouble committing, and sometimes leaves relationships for trivial reasons.

With these opposite perspectives, Forty Days of Dating is a relationship experiment with potential for explosive results. Will the friends damage their friendship? Will they fall madly in love? Will they gain perspective?

Typographic art helps participants gain perspective in a relationship experiment

“Embrace uncertainty,” good watchwords for a relationship experiment
© Anisa Suthayalai

Getting Starting

For the experiment, Jessica and Tim set rules, such as seeing each other every day, visiting a couple’s therapist weekly, and filling out a daily questionnaire privately and with candor.

The 40 days occurred last spring, and now from July 10–August 16, 2013, daily posts chronicle the developments. Typographic art from friends captures the essence of each day, staring with Day 1:

Typographic art helps participants gain perspective in a relationship experiment

Day 1 for Tim after a date the night before 
© Roanne Adams / Roandco

Typographic art helps participants gain perspective in a relationship experiment

Day 1 for Jessica: When an opportunity seems scary, I must take it.
© Keetra Dean Dixon

Insights Galore

Now, more than half-way through the project, the couple’s daily reflections offer a treasure trove of “Oh, I see” moments. Here are but a few:

1.  On the Role of Exes— 

On Day 5, Jessica and Tim engaged in “art therapy,” making word pictures about past relationships while they shared ginger cookies and egg pastries. When Jessica moved her exes out of her head, she found it “surprisingly therapeutic.”

Typographic art helps participants gain perspective in a relationship experiment

Jessica gets an ex out of her head and onto paper.
© Jessica Walsh

Tim drew his dating history of 65 girlfriends and observed, “There’s something liberating about airing my dirty laundry.”

Typographic art helps participants gain perspective in a relationship experiment

With 65 on his dating list, it must have taken time for Tim to air his dirty laundry!
© Kate Moross

2.  On Why People Fall Too Fast— 

A visit to a couple’s therapist on Day 8 gives insight on Jessica’s issue. Looking at the portraits of her exes, it’s easy to see that she jumps into relationships. The therapist explains and Tim, at least, has an aha moment:  Jessica gets serious so fast because she dislikes the discomfort or awkwardness in the beginning of a relationship.

3.  On Avoiding Attachment—

On Day 11, Tim gets crabby and starts pointing out Jessica’s quirks and weaknesses. She recognizes Tim’s behavior as a way to protect himself from getting too attached.

Jessica Walsh gains perspective in a relationship experiment

Jessica Walsh
© Forty Days of Dating

On Day 13, Jessica explains:

“As soon as he starts seeing a girl, especially a girl he really likes, he’ll focus on bizarre things about her that bother him.

“These things are meaningless in terms of a relationship, but he claims they are deal breakers.

“A few months ago he dated a great girl who seemed to have it all, but he decided he should end things because he didn’t like her shoes. Seriously.

“The next girl he said he liked hooked up with him too soon. The next girl he dated was amazing but she didn’t like her career as much as he likes his.”

The attachment issues led to the first fight, and soon the couple had to—

Typographic art helps participants gain perspective in a relationship experiment

Not even two weeks into the relationship, things began to change.
© Sabine Dowek

4.  On the Fear of Commitment— 

Jessica reports mixed signals from Tim: “He’s both interested and scared to become intimate, yet he’s still being flirtatious and showing signs of wanting more.”

She starts asking more from the relationship. What does that feel like to Tim? He speaks honestly:

Timothy Goodman gains perspective in a relationship experiment

Timothy Goodman
© Forty Days of Dating

“I feel like I’m walking on eggshells a bit.” (Day 12)

“Yes, I am interested in more, but it just feels too risky.” (Day 13)

“I feel a lot of pressure from Jessie. I like a bit of uncertainty, and I like living in the questions. I don’t like having to live up to some idea, or to fulfill some expectation, though. I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it. The whole situation is making me feel very unsettled, and she wonders why I’m being so wishy-washy.” (Day 14)

The pressure Tim feels leads to the wishy-washiness that confuses Jessica, and that confusion prompts the questions that feel like pressure to Tim. Ah, it’s a circle all about commitment. What’s missing?

Typographic art helps participants gain perspective in a relationship experiment

What do the missing letters spell?
© Leland Maschmeyer

5.  On Not Giving Up—

As in all relationships, things get really tense. On Day 15, Jessica decides to quit the project, but returns.  On Day 23, Tim has had it:

“I’ve never felt more like a mouse in a cage being tested on against my will. I feel grimy. I feel very uncomfortable. I feel emotional.”

And Jessica is deflated.

What gets them through it? Intense communication and this realization:

Typographic art helps participants gain perspective in a relationship experiment

Full hearts and broken hearts happen as relationships go ’round.
© Sharon Hwang

What’s Next?

By Day 24, Tim has decided to give the relationship a go. Jessica has decided to let go of her expectations. They have sex. It’s 15 days from today to the end of the relationship experiment. Find more of their candid “Oh, I see” moments at 40 Days of Dating, and gain perspective for yourself, too.

Jessica is a partner at Sagmeister & Walsh, and Timothy runs his own design studio.

Comment on this post below, or inspire insight with your own OIC Moment here.

Touched by Judith Braun’s Finger Drawings

by Janine Boylan on July 29, 2013

Judith Braun showing the creative process of finger drawing

A fingering in progress
© Cesar Delgado Wixan

The Creative Process Behind Braun’s Abstract Symmetry

To put it simply, Judith Braun finger paints.

But her work deserves a much clearer explanation.

Judith Braun finger draws.

And she uses her whole body as she draws. She dips her fingers in ground graphite and reaches to strategically smudge perfect black marks that fade to gray. She nimbly dips and smudges until a blank space is transformed with meaningful symmetrical shapes.

Wiggling the graphite-covered middle digit on her right hand, Braun describes her creative process as she discusses her mural “Graphite”: “This piece is using this finger, obviously. It’s a very specific finger!”

She wiggles her left hand and continues, “I can switch to this hand if I’m on an abrasive wall if I needed to, but I’ll still go to that finger. They’re not just random. Every finger is really different and very specific. The pressure is very specific.”

Watch as she sweeps pattern and shadow onto a wall to create her mural “Diamond Dust” at the Chrysler Museum of Art in Norfolk, Virginia.

If the video does not display, watch it here.

The Rules

Sixty-six-year-old Braun is a life-long artist. As Judith Weinperson, she had a blossoming art career with edgy pieces that were featured in prominent New York exhibits. Then a series of life events, including a divorce, temporarily nudged her from the art scene.

In 2003, she realized she needed to switch her focus back to where she belonged: art.

Braun shares how big that decision was. “My one priority would be to make art and show it. That was the goal, to show one more time. This may sound simple, but at 56 years old it was a huge challenge for me to try to re-enter the ever-youthful art world. To start with, I had to make a whole new body of work, but I’d also have to make all new friends!”

And during her reacquaintance with the art world, she established three rules for her new body of work:

  • graphite or charcoal
  • abstraction
  • symmetry.

“With these simple rules,” Braun explains, “there are endless possibilities, and therefore endless, endless surprises.”

finger drawing by Judith Braun, showing her creative process

F-R-1-1
Drawn on paper with fingers dipped in charcoal, 18″ x 25″, 2012
© Judith Braun

Carbon

Why the carbon-based medium? Braun clarifies, “I like the black and white. I like the fact that it is just black and white, and yet there are infinite possibilities. . .”

She also appreciates the carbon structure, which, under the right conditions can become a diamond. So she refers to the black powder as “diamond dust.”

As she illustrates in this video, Braun grinds graphite in a coffee grinder and then uses the fine powder as her “paint.”

finger drawing showing Judith Braun's creative process

Fingering #10
Drawn on wall with fingers dipped in charcoal, 10′ x 12′, 2012
“Pressing Matter,” 3 person show at Parallel Art Space, NYC
© Judith Braun

Symmetry and Abstraction

Braun explains her interest in symmetry: “Symmetry is the most ubiquitous form in the universe.” She continues, “When I put abstraction and symmetry together they offered a way to tap into this underlying function of the universe. Random possibilities become probabilities, carefully realized drawings. There is no end to the possibilities to choose from.”

Graphite finger drawing by Judith Braun showing her creative process

Graphite
Drawn with fingers dipped in graphite and charcoal on two walls 20′ x 17′ each,
December 9, 2012–June 2, 2013
Indianapolis Museum of Art
© Judith Braun

The Woman Behind the Carbon

In 2010, Braun made a video to celebrate her birthday. In it she explains, “This past year I was on the reality TV show, ‘Work of Art.’ I, of course, was cast as the older artist, which I knew, expected.”

Braun continues, “I didn’t know I was being cast as the crazy, older woman. So I am crazy and older. Actually I find them both to be quite honorable identities.”

You can watch the video she submitted to audition for the show here.

A More Serious Side

In 2012, during preparations for the “Graphite” mural, Braun learned she had breast cancer.

Her symmetrical, abstract art requires careful planning. Following her normal creative process, Braun had created meticulous guidelines for this mural by getting photos of the space and working through the piece, detail by detail.

The shocking news inspired her to abandon her prepared plans.

“I kept thinking some day I’ll do one where I don’t plan it. This is the time,” Braun shares. “I find out I have cancer. That wasn’t planned. So I thought, ‘Let me just go for it this time.'”

finger drawing showing creative process of Judith Braun

Day 7 of work on “Graphite”
Indianapolis Museum of Art, December 9, 2012-June 2, 2013
© Judith Braun

After completing the mural, Braun returned home for a double mastectomy. But first, in typical Braun style, she invited friends to a goodbye party for her breasts.

Oh, I See

Judith Braun’s creative process, one that uses just her fingers to turn black dust into detailed landscapes and geometric forms full of movement, is impressive.

But, behind that art, Oh, I see a woman with a rock-hard confident individuality and laser-clear direction, garnished with a colorful, twinkling humor. I am inspired!

And Judith Braun has obviously benefitted from her “Oh, I see” moments along the way. She says:

“There’s a lot of suffering in the world. I understand that. I’m suffering, but you get to that point—it’s a philosophical thing—you choose to celebrate and be thankful for what you have in the universe. That’s the way it is. You have to look at what is working.”

You can view and buy Braun’s work on her Web site.

And click here for a virtual showing of her solo exhibition at Joe Sheftel Gallery in New York.

 Comment on this post below, or inspire insight with your own OIC Moment here.

Finding Creative Inspiration (Part 2)

by Meredith Mullins on July 25, 2013

Black girl in jungle pool, creative inspiration from Ruud Van Empel

Straight from the photographer’s imagination: World 26
© Ruud Van Empel

Diving Headfirst into the Creativity Pool

What exactly is creative inspiration . . . and how can I get some?

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