Feb

Don’t Say Goodbye to Saying Hello

by Joyce McGreevy on February 5, 2018

A man and a woman conversing in Ireland shows how saying hello is fundamental across cultures. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Saying hello is saying yes to life.
© Joyce McGreevy

Meeting & Greeting Across Cultures

In a New Yorker cartoon entitled “How to Clear a Space at a Crowded Beach,” a man says hello to all and sundry. His cheeriness so horrifies New Yorkers that hundreds collectively retreat.

Oh, I see: Some people like saying hello. Some people give hello the heave-ho.

In Galway, Ireland, (pop. 258,000) passersby often say hello to one another. Nothing fancy, mind you. A quick tap of the second syllable and you’re on your way. In Istanbul, Turkey (pop. 15 million) a local who said hello to passersby would prompt a puzzled reaction.

Yet people in both cities are notably friendly.

Does higher population density = fewer hellos? In New York City, saying hello to your neighbors in just one square mile would take you 2 weeks, 4 days, and 16 hours.

How Do You Hello?

Every culture has numerous ways to say hello, from Hi to Sula manchwanta galunga omugobe. Some greetings translate as questions: “Where are you going?” (Philippines) “Have you eaten?” (China) “Have you slept well?” (central Africa)

A word cloud in many languages shows that saying hello is fundamental across cultures. (Image © annatodica/iStock)

There’s a world of ways to say hello!
© annatodica/iStock

Business greetings vary across cultures, too. Leaving an office in Europe for one in Southern California, I often encountered hugs instead of handshakes. Yet saying hello to my SoCal neighbors elicited wary looks, as if I might be a time-share vendor eager to make a sale.

In Japanese business settings, hugs are unheard of, handshakes uncommon, and elaborate etiquette governs bowing and the exchange of business cards. But it was Japanese psychology that taught me a simple path to resilience during challenging times: maintain the practice of saying hello.

A Belgian cheesemonger saying hello shows that greeting is fundamental across cultures. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

There’s nothing cheesy about saying hello!
© Joyce McGreevy

In France, entering a shop without saying Bonjour, Madame (or Monsieur) is considered rude. Ditto Merci, au revoir as you leave. France is also where I’ve seen people say hello on entering elevators or when passing in corridors. It’s no come-on, just good manners.

Hello Kissy

Some cultures kiss hello. Career diplomat Andy Scott has navigated greetings in 60 countries, where the proper number of kisses can vary from one (Colombia) to eight (Afghanistan). In One Kiss or Two? The Art and Science of Saying Hello (The Overlook Press, available March 2018) Scott guides readers through greeting etiquette across cultures in all its air-kissing, high-fiving, nose-rubbing, cheek-sniffing, foot-kissing, floor-spitting, tongue-sticking, hand-clapping variety.

Hello, Fellow Human

Hello goes beyond words and gestures. Think of all the times you make eye contact with strangers—approaching the paper-towel dispenser in a restroom, finding a seat at the doctor’s office. Maybe you’ve shared an empathetic grimace with others in line at the DMV, or traded sheepish grins with a fellow shopper as you negotiated a narrow grocery aisle with oversized shopping carts.

What difference can such fleeting contact make? A lot. In 2011, researchers at Purdue University noted that humans have “evolved systems to detect the slightest cues of inclusion or exclusion. For example, simple eye contact is sufficient to convey inclusion. In contrast, withholding eye contact can signal exclusion” making people feel invisible.

They named their study after a German expression, wie Luft behandeln—“To Be Looked at as Though Air”—and added a telling subtitle: “Civil Attention Matters.”

A waving hand on a winter day shows that saying hello is universal across cultures. (Image © Banepx/iStock)

A warm greeting can make the world of difference.
© Banepx/iStock

Hello, Anyone Here?

Eye contact is in shorter supply these days, as staring at smartphones becomes the default pause filler. And not just among the young.

Many of us clamp on headphones the moment we board trains, planes, and buses. But a 2014 study of Chicago commuters by the University of California Berkeley found that those who engaged another passenger in conversation were much happier.

I’m an irrepressible hello-er. Otherwise, I would have missed a wonderful dinner conversation last night with my friends Ann and Caitlin. After all, a few hours earlier, we hadn’t yet met.

To Greet or Not to Greet

Saying hello connects us, yet saying hello is a risk. We love getting out of the house for the social atmosphere of a café. Then we crouch behind our laptops.

Saying hello breaks down barriers. When a toddler says “Hi” in a public space it sparks friendly exchanges among nearby adults.

A baby waving shows that saying hello is fundamental across cultures. (Image © M-image/iStock)

Even as babies, we instantly process the emotional significance of a wave.
© M-image/iStock

The Power of Saying Hello

Once upon a time, at a college orientation, a young man saw a beautiful fellow student. At a loss for a clever opening line, he opted for “Hello.”

They’re happily married now.

So, don’t say goodbye to saying hello. Greetings vary across cultures, but in every language of the world, saying hello welcomes a world of possibility. Sometimes the sweetest possibility of all.

A couple walking hand in hand in Budapest show the power of saying hello across cultures. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

To say hello is to greet life with open arms.
© Joyce McGreevy

Comment on this post below, or inspire insight with your own OIC Moment here.

Joyce McGreevy 8 Comments

Crossing Cultures/Language & Culture/Secrets to Life/Worldwide Sites

Nov

The Hidden Hearts of Bruges

by Joyce McGreevy on November 28, 2017

Bruges by night is safe and serene.
© Joyce McGreevy

Where Being Bilingual
Is Just the Beginning

So, you’ve practiced your French to visit Belgium. Well, not so fast! Here, being bilingual is just the beginning. In this country the size of Maryland, only 40% of the population speaks French.

The Other 60 Percent

Now how’s your Flemish? Because we’re bound for Bruges. Known locally as Brugge, it’s arguably Europe’s most picturesque small city.

ruges is a World Heritage city in Belgium, where being bilingual is just the beginning. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

This World Heritage city welcomes 7.5 million visitors a year.
© Joyce McGreevy

Wait, did I say Flemish? Silly me. I meant West Flemish. Although to get truly local, you really should learn Brugs . . . In Brugge (where everyone’s also fluent in English), being bilingual is just the beginning.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Aren’t Flemish, West Flemish, and Brugs all just slight variants of Dutch?”

Variants, yes. But slight, not always. It’s said that while a Bruggeling can easily understand a Dutch speaker . . .

A carved stone head inspires thoughts about language in Belgium, where being bilingual is just the beginning. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

. . . the Dutch speaker might not understand the Bruggeling’s reply.

A carved stone head inspires thoughts about Flemish in Belgium, where being bilingual is just the beginning. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Dutch vs Flemish

If the sound of Dutch is the tap of new shoes on an office floor, Flemish is your favorite old boots padding across moss. The hard Dutch g becomes an aspirated h. Words that look identical can have wildly divergent meanings, and some vocabulary varies by neighborhood.

Oh, I see: In Flanders, language is highly localized. Your address shapes how you speak.

Sint-Clarastraat, Bruges inspires a writer in Belgium, where being bilingual is just the beginning.

Like many streets in Brugge, Sint-Clarastraat is named for a saint.
© Joyce McGreevy

My address this month is Sint-Clarastraat. It’s part of a network of cobbled streets and canals that form a circular, lace-like pattern around this medieval city.

A colorful canal view in Bruges inspires a traveler in Belgium. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

What’s Flemish for “I could stay here forever”?
© Joyce McGreevy

Storm Before the Calm

While those canals present a placid beauty, they sprang from cataclysmic change. In 1134, Brugge was already three centuries old when a mighty storm ripped open the River Zwin, gouging a deep passage all the way to the North Sea. The “Golden Inlet” was born.

With connection came wealth, as Brugge grew into an international capital of trade. Goods, people, ideas—they all flowed to and from Brugge like the lifeblood of a beating heart. Brugge became a cradle of art and architecture.

The medieval Adornes Domain in Bruges inspires a traveler in Belgium, where past is present. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Bruges’ Jerusalem Chapel and its almshouses were built by a 15th-century merchant.
© Joyce McGreevy

The reach of medieval entrepreneurs extended from Scotland to Jerusalem. Nature’s fortunate flood was followed by a flood of capital, and in 1309, Bruges launched the world’s first stock exchange.

Over time, the flat plains of Flanders and the slow-moving River Zwin proved a doomed combination. The Golden Inlet became clogged with silt, choking the port and sending Brugge into economic decline.

Yet the neglect that settled over Brugge preserved it. Stand in the center of the old Burg, scanning the surrounding buildings, and you will time-travel through the Romanesque, Gothic, Renaissance, Baroque, and Neoclassical ages.

Old Burg architecture in Bruges, Belgium spans several centuries. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Buildings in the Old Burg span 10 centuries.
© Joyce McGreevy

The Heart of a City

Because it’s central, guidebooks call Market Square the “heart” of the town. But Brugge has many hearts. Like learning the local language, discovering these hidden hearts takes time.

Smedenpoort Gate in Bruges, inspires a traveler in Belgium. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Don’t miss outer Bruges, where you’ll find its four medieval gates.
© Joyce McGreevy

Did you ever hear the saying, “Nobody goes there because it’s too crowded”? The stereotype about Brugge is that it’s a hive of time-pressured, selfie-taking, beer-tasting tourists pursuing a quick fix of the picturesque before the tour buses leave town.

But if high-season weekends fuel the stereotype, evenings and weekdays dispel it. The most iconic sights become places of solitude then.

A tranquil canal view in Bruges inspires a bilingual writer in Belgium. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Rarely has a Monday looked so tranquil.
© Joyce McGreevy

Beyond the Center

Whenever you visit, do venture beyond the center. Zigzag along streets unmentioned in the guidebook. Follow laneways to see where they lead—a hidden pond, a sheep meadow, a cloistered garden. Take longer and longer walks.

A sheep meadow in the heart of Bruges inspires a bilingual writer in Belgium. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Peaceful green spaces are hidden all around Bruges.
© Joyce McGreevy

Look closely at buildings for details that signal the history of this city. Adopt local expressions as you do errands. Ask everyone who can spare a moment to teach you a new word or expression.

A bicycle overgrown with flowers inspires a walk around Brugge, Belgium, where being bilingual is just the beginning. (Image @ Joyce McGreevy)

Ready for a ramble around Brugge?
© Joyce McGreevy

Meet Your Neighbors

By this point you will be so in love with Brugge that you will have a thousand questions about its million mysteries. Filip Bil and Annemieke Demuynck have the answers.

Bilingual travel guides and food bloggers Annemieke Demuynck and Filip Bil live in Bruges, Belgium. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Roast venison with chicory and other Flemish favorites grace Annemieke and Filip’s table.
© Joyce McGreevy

He’s a firefighter, she’s a marketing manager. To explore the city’s history with them on foot, to have supper in their home, to visit their recommended bakeries, cheese shops, chocolatiers, and restaurants—each experience reveals another reason to marvel.

Fortunately, you can do all these things, because Filip and Annemieke are licensed guides, two of the friendliest experts you’ll ever meet. They also write a bilingual food blog called Vertelle Mentjes, “Little Stories.”

A candlelit restaurant in Bruges, Belgium inspires a reader of the bilingual food blog, Vertelle Mentjes. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

There’s much more to Bruges’ food scene than “steak-frites.” Just ask Filip and Annamieke.
© Joyce McGreevy

We almost didn’t meet. The price of a private tour was so reasonable that I hesitated. How good could it be, I wondered, if even I could afford it?

Thank goodness, we did meet. Without Filip and Annemieke, I would surely have missed many hidden hearts of Brugge.

A windmill in Bruges inspires a bilingual writer in Belgium. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Hike to the old city boundaries, where the scenery’s anything but run-of-the-mill.
© Joyce McGreevy

Hidden in Brugge

Today in Brugge, where being bilingual is only the beginning, another heart is hidden—mine. Somewhere between the place where the wind ruffles the down of a swan and the moon illuminates the bridges, that’s where I left it.

I’ll just have to return for it one day.

Brugsch Swaentje, or swans of Bruges, inspire a bilingual traveler in Belgium. (Image © Joyce McGreevy)

Legends surround the Brugsch Swaentje, or swans of Bruges.
© Joyce McGreevy

Meet Filip and Annemieke here and here.

Explore differences between Dutch and Flemish here.

Comment on this post below, or inspire insight with your own OIC Moment here.

Joyce McGreevy 7 Comments

Belgium/Language & Culture/On Foot

Nov

A Game of French Wordplay: Les Bons Mots

by Meredith Mullins on November 20, 2017

A French bakery (boulangerie) with two women selling baguettes, illustrating baguettiquette, a form of French wordplay about the etiquette of eating baguettes. (Image © Meredith Mullins.)

Proper baguettiquette begins with the selection of the right baguette.
© Meredith Mullins

French Language Puns Offer Stories about the Culture

You can often step into French life through its language. Sometimes you can even invent new words to expand the boundaries of French language and culture. All it takes are some bilingual puns and a fun sense of French wordplay.

What word inventions come to your mind?

Observing Baguettiquette

What are the rules and traditions surrounding that oh-so-French symbol, the baguette?

Hardly a day goes by in France where a baguette doesn’t show its crusty face—tucked under someone’s arm in the street, paired with cheeses and a good bottle of wine at a riverside picnic, or at home eaten fresh from the oven of your local boulangerie.

Young woman carrying baguette on her shoulder, proper baguettetiquette, an invented word in French language as part of wordplay. (Image © Meredith Mullins.)

More than one famous French street photographer captured a decisive baguette moment. They are a significant part of everyday life.

Here are some of the unwritten rules of baguettiquette:

You’re allowed (and encouraged) to spread butter and jam on your baguette at breakfast and dunk it in your coffee or tea.
When in France, you learn quickly to put your bread on the table beside your plate. In fact, if you put bread on your plate, you’re committing a serious dough pas.
You will be among the locals if you can’t resist biting off the end of the baguette as you carry it home, especially if it’s warm from the oven.
To that end (no pun intended), it is best to time your visit to the boulangerie to coincide with the morning or evening baking.
You can feel free to clean your plate with your bread to savor the last bits and drops of a delicious meal. This technique also expedites dishwashing.

Man eating end of a baguette in Paris, France, illustrating rules of baguettiquette, a word invented via wordplay with the French language. (Image © Meredith Mullins.)

Experiencing Déjà Rue

The magnetism and magic of Paris is to be able to walk down an endless number of streets, always discovering some treasure—whether it’s layers of history, local characters, or new cafés and tiny shops.

Woman in a Montmartre alleyway, illustrating wordplay in the French language (deja rue). (Image © Meredith Mullins.)

From medieval alleyways to broad avenues, people have cultivated the art of flaneuring for many years—wandering without destination or purpose.

There are some streets where, even if you’ve never been before, something feels familiar. You’ve been there in another time, another life. You’ve been there in a Victor Hugo novel or a Baudelaire poem. You’ve been there in a symphony or in a saxophone solo under a streetlamp. That’s déjà rue.

You know you belong there.

Rue de Rivoli in Paris France, illustrating some wordplay (deja rue) in the French language. (Image © Meredith Mullins.)

Finding Véliberation

The speedier version of flaneuring is velibing—flying freely through Paris on one of the bikes available from the city’s bike-sharing system.

It is indeed a liberating experience, especially when the traffic is minimal. (“When is that?” you might ask. Early Sunday mornings, or perhaps between 3 and 5 am . . . or in August when most of the locals are on vacation.)

Three velib riders in Paris France, illustrating the wordplay in the French language of veliberation. (Image © Meredith Mullins.)

The Vélib system is now more than ten years old in Paris and is undergoing some important changes under Mayor Hidalgo, who wants Paris to be the most bike-friendly capital in the world.

The number of bikes and bike lanes is expected to double. Electric bikes will be added to the fleet. And signs will be added to the streets allowing cyclists to go through red lights and turn right on red.

A new system for parking the bikes will be installed to allow two bikes in one parking space. Arriving at your destination and not finding a parking space has been a recurring problem.

Despite challenges over the past 10 years (including a high rate of theft and destruction of the bikes), the system has been deemed a success. It is an environmentally-friendly way to move around the city, with the added bonus of that elusive feeling of véliberation.

Bakery (boulangerie) window in Paris France, illustrating the concept of eclairity, wordplay in the French language. (Image © Meredith Mullins.)

Seeking Éclairity

Gazing in the window of a boulangerie or patisserie is a tough job, but someone has to do it. The array is artistic, colorful, mesmerizing, and tempting or taunting (depending on your health regime).

Some mornings are destined for croissants. Some evenings cry out for tartelettes. Often, there are a thousand small voices singing the song of the millefeuille.

But it is those days of éclairity, when the choice is clear. The éclair.

Éclairs are now omnipresent around the world, but they did, in fact, originate in France. They are believed to have been created by 19^th century royalty chef Marie-Antonin Carême.

He liked to create structures, such as the Charlotte and the Napoleon. The éclair was a masterpiece of exterior and interior magic.

Chocolate and coffee eclairs in a bakery (boulangerie) window, illustrating wordplay in the French language. (Image © Meredith Mullins.)

Éclair means “flash of lightening” in French. It is believed that the pastry was so named because the confectioner’s glaze glistened or perhaps because it was quickly gobbled up . . . by both royalty and common folk. Either way, it caused a stir in the world of French pastry.

Now, the flavors of chocolate, vanilla, and coffee are the foundation of tradition, but also the precursor for more creative approaches—for example, truffle, lemongrass, matcha tea, and pistachio.

Éclairity. Is it a flash of lightening or a way of life? Only you know the answer.

Offering a Sincere “Bone Appétit”

The French enjoy the pleasure of food and good company. Before you begin a meal, your host, friends, or waiter may offer a “Bon appétit,” a sincere wish to enjoy the meal that will follow.

It literally means “have a good appetite,” but more likely than not, that’s a given when you sit down to a delicious French meal.

Dog with a bone, illustrating wordplay in the French language. (Image © Igor Terekhov/Hemera.)

Bone appétit? Well, it speaks for itself. The French love their animals, especially their dogs. You’ll see dogs strutting by the Seine, eating in Michelin-starred restaurants, and wearing the best of canine haute couture. (See the Travel Tails story in OIC Moments.)

They deserve the best, so Bone appétit.

The “Oh, I See” Moments

We can learn a lot about French culture by looking at the French language, even when using imagination to invent a new lexicon. And so today, have a laugh on les bons mots of this French language wordplay and look beyond to gain appreciation for the simple pleasures of French culture: Baguette etiquette. Flaneuring. Free-flying bike riding. Éclairs . . . and more.

Thank you to the Boulangerie Martin on the Ile St Louis. For more information on éclairs, follow the trends with David Lebovitz.

Comment on this post below.

Meredith Mullins 2 Comments

France/Language & Culture/Wordplay

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Don’t Say Goodbye to Saying Hello