Oh, I see! moments
Travel Cultures Language

World Views:

Topics

25

Feb

This Life Lesson Ain’t No Lie

by Janine Boylan on February 25, 2013

woman with long nose, illustrating a life lesson about telling lies

Lies tend to catch up with you.
© Thinkstock

Have You Lied Today?

I did, even though one life lesson I’ve surely learned is: Don’t lie. 

I was at this restaurant where the service was impossibly slow and the food mediocre. I had to go into the kitchen to summon the server and request my check. When she sauntered out and gave me the bill, she asked: How was everything? My answer: Fine.

No, it wasn’t! But it was easier to tell a little lie than to have a confrontation.

According to a 2010 research study (Serota, Levine, Boster), on average, adults lie 11 times a week. Consider the US adult population of about 240 million x 11 lies a week x 52 weeks a year. You can see where the math is headed—we had 137 billion lies floating around in 2012! That’s 261,187 lies per minute.

No surprise. Lies have been with us since ancient times:

  • If Homer’s version of the Trojan War (circa 1184 BCE) is true,  the Greeks told a whopper when they placed the big wooden horse at the gates of Troy and said it was a gift.
  • In ancient Rome at Ephesus, a grand library was built in 117 CE with an underground tunnel that led to a brothel. That way Romans could say they were going to the library when they had other plans.
Toy blocks spelling "lie" to highlight a life lesson about telling lies

Lies block healthy relationships
© Thinkstock

And so it goes up to modern times when

  • Runner Rosie Ruiz slipped out of the pack of runners in the 1980 Boston marathon, took the subway to a mile from the finish line, and then ran the last leg of the race to be the first across the finish line.
  • Popular 1990’s Grammy-winning pop band Milli Vanilli didn’t sing even a note on their albums.
  • Presidential candidate John Edwards denied an extramarital affair and fathering a child out of wedlock.
  • Investor Bernard Madoff scammed billions from investors in an enormous Ponzi scheme over more than ten years.

Lies come in all sizes. Some affect the course of history and some cause relationships to run their course.

Why Do People Lie?

It’s actually a lot of work to lie. You have to create a believable story, deliver it convincingly, and then remember all the details so you’ll never get caught. All that makes you anxious!

Once you start with a lie, it’s hard to stop. Likely, you’ll be caught, and then facing the consequences of your lie can be horrible. In some cases, it can ruin everything you’ve worked hard for. Just ask Lance Armstrong. Or Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. Or Marion Jones.

So, why do people lie?

  • To save face: Sorry I didn’t respond—I never got your text.
  • To look better: I was on the first string in high school. 
  • To be nice: Your chicken stew is delicious.
  • To deflect or avoid blame: My husband made me late. Or: That green vase? No, I never touched it.
  • To avoid conflict: It wasn’t my decision, but I have to let you go.

See more everyday examples in Justin Barber’s clever “Truth and Lies” poster series.

Everyday lies can turn into a habit.  Habits can lead to careers built on lies:  No, I have never taken any banned substances.

disgraced biker, showing a life lesson about lies

Telling lies is stressful.
© Thinkstock

There’s a Good Reason Not to Lie

The Science of Honesty study, directed by Anita E. Kelly and and Lijuan Wang at Notre Dame, investigated links between lying and health.

Across ten weeks, one group in the study was directed to stop telling lies (both big and little), while the control group received no special instructions. Both groups answered questions weekly about their health and relationships and took polygraph tests about the number of lies they had told that week.

The results? The people in the study had an important Oh, I see moment. Both their health and relationships improved as they told fewer lies.

How Can You Change Your Ways?

According to experts, it may be easier than you think. Once you accept that everyone makes mistakes, you can make a short apology rather than a lot of excuses. It’s also easier to stand up and take responsibility for something that went wrong. And, as the participants in the Science in Honesty study advise, you can just decide to tell the truth about your accomplishments rather than exaggerating them.

Being truthful doesn’t mean that you have to be unkind either. Maybe you don’t so much like the fit and radiant green of your friend’s new pants, but you can zero in on something positive:  Hey, you’ll stand out in a crowd!

Oh, I see. I can find ways to be more truthful. Next time I’m in a mediocre, sluggishly-paced restaurant and the server says How was everything?, I can answer honestly: Well, this will certainly be something to write about! 

The Science for Honesty study, running from 2011-2013, is sponsored by the John Templeton Foundation. 

Comment on this post below, or inspire insight with your own OIC Moment here.

 

Life Lessons

18

Feb

Language Speaks Volumes About Cultural Differences

by Janine Boylan on February 18, 2013

Language can reveal so much about the values and priorities in a culture. That’s why I love learning about different languages and discovering the richness of cultural differences. Perhaps Rita Mae Brown best described the connection between language and culture when she said:

Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.

One Thousand Names

What would you call this animal? To me, it is simply a reindeer.

Reindeer, illustrating that languages reflect cultural differences

There are 48 terms in the Northern Saami language for the shape of reindeer antlers.
© Thinkstock

People in Norway rely heavily on reindeer like this one for transportation as well as for food. Owners need to easily identify their animals. So the people have developed very precise language to talk about the animals.

Dr. Ole Henrik Magga reports that, in the Northern Saami language in Norway, there are over 1000 words that each convey a precise description of a reindeer, based on its gender, age, and appearance. For example, the word váža is used to describe a full-grown female reindeer which has already had a calf. And a siekŋa-njunni  is a reindeer whose hair around its nostrils is a different and unexpected color from the rest of its hair.

Oh I see!  The details in language are a wonderful mirror of the culture in which the language grows.

Shades of Blue

In English, we use the word “blue” to describe all shades of the color from sky blue to deep indigo. The Russian language does not have a single word for blue, instead it separates blue into light blues (goluboy) and dark blues (siniy).

shades of blue, illustrating that languages reflect cultural differences

Is it light or dark blue?
© Janine Boylan

Lera Boroditsky has done a number of studies on language. She reports that it is easier for native Russian speakers to see the subtle differences in shades of blue because, since childhood, they have been calling the two blues by distinct names. Similarly, she found that people who grew up speaking English had greater difficulty distinguishing between differences in the shades of blue.

Oh, I see! The words you know can shape the world you see.

A Cell is a Cell (Or Is It?)

A mobile, a cell, a cellular, a portable—those are all words used to describe cellular phones in different parts of the word.

cell phone, illustrating that language speaks of cultural differences

In Japan, a cell phone is called keitai, “portable.”
© Janine Boylan

In Sweden, another word for mobile phone is nalle, a teddy bear. The term was coined in the 1980s when portable phones were very expensive and only newly rich “yuppies” were able to buy them. People called the phones yuppienalle, the yuppie teddy bear, to mock owners and their expensive “toys.” But the teddy bear term stuck.

And, in Germany, the device is called a “handy.” One source says the name came from the Word War II “Handie Talkie,” the handheld walkie talkie the troops used. Since that time, the term has been used for various mobile devices, and today is synonymous with a mobile phone.

Oh, I see! Languages add new words all the time, and sometimes there’s a cultural spin.

Language is a wonderful window into cultural differences! What is the most interesting thing you have learned about a culture through its language?

Comment on this post below, or inspire insight with your own OIC Moment here.

 

Cultural Diversity/Language & Culture/Worldwide Sites

11

Feb

Technology in Everyday Life: Plug Away or Pull the Plug?

by Janine Boylan on February 11, 2013

man with plugs in his hair, showing overuse of technology in everyday life

Are we too plugged in?
© Thinkstock

How Plugged In Are You?

Think about the technology in your everyday life.

  • Do you go on dates with your smartphone?
  • Do you excuse yourself to go to the restroom and check your email?
  • At a coffee shop or airport, do you try to get the seat nearest to the outlet?
  • In line, do you immediately pull out your smartphone for something to do?
  • Do you think your smartphone makes you smarter?

If you answered “yes” to the last question, then you must disagree with a quote circulating the Internet. Attributed (incorrectly) to Albert Einstein, it states that, when technology surpasses human interaction, there will be a generation of idiots.

A series of photos accompanying the quote show people engaged so intently with their smartphones that it brings up an interesting issue: Are we all too plugged in?

people using smartphones, showing how technology in everyday life can keep us from communicating

Are our devices a distraction?
© Sheron Long

The Role of the Smartphone

In our house, no smartphones are allowed at the dinner table. Inevitably, though, one of us will run to get a device during the meal because we have to look up an appointment time on iCalendar or we need to Google some question we can’t answer.

We go on walks and tuck our phones in our pockets in case of emergency. But they manage to wiggle out when we wonder what some landmark is, when we want to take a photo, or even when it gets a little too dark and we need a flashlight.

I worry that we have our noses in our devices more than we should.

After all, my smartphone is, to name a few: my appointment book, mailbox, shopping list, library book, flashlight, alarm clock, camera, photo album, audio player, dictionary, encyclopedia set, calculator, newspaper, weather report, oh, and phone.

Wait! Oh, I see. It’s not that it’s bad to be plugged in. It’s just that this little device has taken the place of so many other tools.

There’s just something about doing all of these functions on a small device that doesn’t get as much respect as doing them the “old-fashioned” ways.

When I see someone looking at a smartphone or on the computer, I don’t feel badly about interrupting. But if I saw the same person engrossed in a book, or pouring over a hand-written letter, or writing out a list, I would probably pause before talking. True, we all tend to reach for the devices more readily than we reach for reference tomes, but the intent is the same.

Do the Devices Stop Communication?

Actually, no. Many times, we share photos from them, watch videos together on them, or, during a conversation, look up things we can’t remember. And often we’ll send a quick text to record an idea we would have otherwise forgotten.

There are times the devices seem to be barriers to communication. It’s easy to get caught up in a game and not lift my head for thirty minutes. But I remember doing that with a deck of cards and solitaire, too.

So, I think being plugged in is fine—as long as we use technology in everyday life as a tool and a way to reinforce face-to-face relationships.

And the games? Well, Einstein did have a strong personal opinion about that: “I do not play games . . . . There is not time for it. When I get through with work, I don’t want anything that requires the working of the mind.”

Comment on this post below, or inspire insight with your own OIC Moment here.

 

Innovations/Secrets to Life

Copyright © 2011-2025 OIC Books   |   All Rights Reserved   |   Privacy Policy